Monday, January 07, 2013

Self Portrait: This Has Always Been Within Me

Due to the recent ingress of Pluto into Capricorn, it would seem the Universe wants my molten core raw and exposed.  Despite my reservations, despite any resistance on my part, my illusions continue to drip away like overheated wax.  I'm forced to allow it, because... well, it's the Universe.  You can say no, but it's wasted breath.  All you can do is manage the pain and shake your fist at the uncaring sky screaming every expletive and curse you know.  Many have questioned this action on my part, but I think that it is important to lodge a complaint even if the boss is the system / Universe your immersed in.  At least if anything else, they will know that you did not bow willingly.

The events of the past two years may be necessary to my growth and part of some cosmic facelift I'm getting via Pluto, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or to even comply.  I've never been one to go down easily if I think I'm right.  I'm having a hard time agreeing with the force that has ripped away all the things I need to survive under the guise of some kind of karmic bullshit transformation.  I've had it with ambiguous directives and violent lessons.  Resistance might be futile, but I will not go willingly.  The Universe can pry my battleaxe from my cold dead hands.

I write this under the influence of Mercury in Capricorn square Uranus in Aries.  This is a softer version of the ongoing Pluto square Uranus we have until 2015, but still extremely volatile energy.  I am a Capricorn and my rising sign is Aries.  This means I'm getting the volatility from both ends.  This weeks Mercury square has mostly manifested as a turbulent internal dialogue with occasional bursts of arguments with myself and I'm grateful.  I am fearful of what it might look like if it manifested outside myself.  I'd be punching things and people.  The internal stuff I can generally handle, but my whole life has become one giant boiling mess.  Inside and outside have become nearly interchangeable.

Forgive me if I'm frustrated.  My president caved to the republicans yet AGAIN, giving the wealthy what they want while the rest of us starve for opportunity and hope.  The future obviously wasn't bleak enough.  Let the Zombie Apocalypse begin!  Start with the Rich!  They can afford a good education and healthy food for their delicious BRRAAAIIIINNNNNSSSSSS!

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{Digital Images manipulated in Adobe Photoshop}

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