Return of the Lord of the Forest

My Ducks

Well, I fought against it, denied it, and avoided it, but none of these has worked.  I will be spending this month moving to a new residence in a new town.

My financial situation has bottomed out and I am no longer able to keep the place I am in now.  This may disrupt my posting here for a bit, but hopefully I will be back on track within a month or so.  We'll see.

I'm kind of making it up as I go along, which is my least favorite place to be.  I'm a Capricorn.  I like all my ducks in a sequential row, color coded, numbered, with cards giving me a personal history of each duck.  My ducks have all  turned into cats with wings and are chasing the pretty butterflies.  Flap, Flap, Flap!  Sigh.

The Kingdom of the Blind

Darkness within and Darkness without. 

From the Darkness they come. 

They are of the darkness

and the holy land of Darkness. 

The House that Fear Built

Anger.  Wrath.  Rage.  I've been trying to create an image that exactly matches my feeling, but halfway through every piece, it changes.  It never stays anger.  In this case, I realize that the anger was built on a foundation of fear and dread.

I think this might be a message to myself.  The Rune Sowelu is mirrored in the piece as indication of damage from a negative solar experience.  Now that the light of the true sun is arriving the fear of that past damage is rising like a ghost pain, inspiring me to retreat from love and light.

In actuality, the true sun would heal the pain, but the previous negative encounter was so great as to cause a powerful panic driven fear of this type of encounter.  So the fear went to ground...underground.  From its seed has grown anger, rage, denial, and despair.

My Anger and Rage are defense mechanisms attempting to protect the part of me that was damaged in the previous incident.  Being only damage control, they were never meant to last and have begun to break down as the expenditure of energy required to maintain them is becoming greater than the energy needed to heal.  The current set of experiences in my life have pushed me further and further out of every comfort zone I have.  All my defense mechanisms are eroding and collapsing out of the necessity of energy conservation. All my issues are springing forth anew.  All my dead are returning to life.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

The Burning

This is me trying to sort out my fiery emotions.  Kind of hard when they gang up.  My original intent was to find a release for my emotional intensity.  I was creating this piece at the time the London riots were beginning, but I had no idea they were occurring until 3 days later. 

I'm having a lot of trouble figuring this one out.  I was actually intensely angry when I was working on this piece.  Now it is almost like looking at a firepit after it has been put out.  You remember the warmth and the smoke and maybe you burned your finger or something, but now there is just a black spot and some ashes and the acrid smell that something burned here.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

The Heat

Bit of an homage here to another of my favorite artists, Bill Sienkiewicz.  His and Chris Claremont's run on New Mutants is one of my all time favorites.  It was during my formative years as a comic book collector and to say Sienkiewicz's style had an influence on my own would be a vast understatement.

This is either sfter the fire or pre fire.  Maybe both.  It looks as though there has been a fire already, like smouldering embers, but also it seems like a blaze could ignite soon.  My original thought for this was a devilish type character, but as I continued to work on the piece it became something more.  Originally is was just a portrait, but now he is wearing some kind of elaborate head piece.  I think perhaps he may be royalty in some dark dimension.  Or it could simply be that this summer's heat has finally fried my brain completely and I can't see past it.  The heat is all there is.

{Created in Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop}

EGO

Ah, the pride of ego. It can get us into many a tight spot. There may be more than ego involved here, but my first thought when I was finished was EGO. My original idea headed into it was Rage, but in the middle of that explosive flame, I found this little blue faced guy. A cool center to the radius of flame and destruction.

If I could have fire instead of hair I would. As long as I could turn it off and be invulnerable to its affects. LOL.  I'm sure I would have to buy shirts and hats more often, but you have to admit, it would look cool.  :-)  No such luck there.  Burned my finger yesterday with hot glue gun.  Now I have an ugly alien looking blister on my thumb.  Hooray...and ouch.

{Digital Images manipulated in Photoshop}

The Arch Duke Grahtennas

Grahtennas is the daemon of negative expansion. He governs all inflammatory diseases including cancer, eczema, hemorrhoids, genital warts, and cirrhosis of the liver. Hemorrhoids being one of his favorites: as they often become a gateway for a variety of expansive discontents. Alcoholics often fall under the sway of Grahtennas, becoming the berserker foot soldiers of his army with their quick and arbitrary tempers. Grahtennas governs all disorders of the Liver.

Grahtennas is the governor of making matters worse. He governs all explosive forms of violence from domestic to riot and his presence causes lost tempers, violently fatal misunderstandings, car accidents, and miscarriages. Murphy’s law is merely one of the entrances to his realm. Grahtennas enjoys the slow death of an inflammatory disease equally with death from explosive violence. He particularly relishes religious dogma and intolerance and the power brought to him by such areas of the world as the Middle Eastern countries and the southern United States.

His symbol of office is a huge rusty spiked mace covered in fresh blood, his favorite offering, especially if taken by bludgeoning. Grahtennas is very serious about himself and his goals and laughter is forbidden in his kingdom. Those guilty of this crime are crushed into bloody smears at the foot of his throne. However there is a story of a shaman once banishing him with incessant laughter. He is often found on his throne, drunk from a chaliceful of fresh blood, his immense girth overflowing the edges of his seat.

His vast kingdom ranges from the Plains of Rage, The Rancid Caverns, The Seas of Distemper. His realm is riddled with perpetual volcanoes, explosive rivers of lava, and constant heat lightning storms. However it is characterized by a specific lack of any rain. He continuously patrols his regions in his mobile Castle, a burning Siege. He paints its walls red with the fresh blood of violent religious fanatics, suicide bombers, and murderers.  Grahtennas is ambitious and militant, constantly seeking new ways to expand his region.

He has a violent disdain for pure water. If confronted with pure water he will seek immediately to corrupt it in some fashion. Thus he has become the patron daemon saint of industrial waste, Oil Companies, and muddied emotional scenarios.

Arch Nemesis' : Pan, Jupiter, Posedion, Any Laughing God, Natural water. The Ocean.

{Created in Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop}

Laptop Update

They were able to retrieve my data!  Thank goodness for small favors.  I've found an affordable replacement, but it is going to take me awhile to amass the cash.  As it stands, until then I'm still connected, but only sporadically.  I'll post as I can.  See you all soon.   :-)

Pause for station RE-identification

I'll keep this short as my current access to the web has a definitive time limit. 

My laptop died.  The horrible my-logic-board-and-hard-drive-are-dead-no-returning-from-dead-kind-of-death.  The nice people at the istore are currently trying to retrieve my data.  (fingers crossed).  I'm going to be gone for awhile unless something changes VERY dramatically in the next few days...

Thank you all for reading and commenting.  I'll be back as soon as I can.  Wish me luck.  I need as much as I can get.

From the Archives: Skeleton Study

This was a study for a larger piece involving several other skeletons.  That piece is still in the works, but this study is very pleasant all its own.  That and who can resist a dramatically lit skeleton!

Its when I work on something like this that I realize my deficiencies in human anatomy.  It makes me want to draw more skeletons so that I may learn.  I'll get on that.  :-)

{Pen & Ink, Sharpie}

From the Archives: Portfolio 2001 Back Cover

This is my favorite of the three 2001 portfolio pieces.  The aura of mystery alone sustains it.

The front cover initiates the portfolio.   It is very presentation oriented and uncomfortably intimate.  The table of contents, still presentational, is focused on organized content.  This is the end of the portfolio, or even further after the end.  The portfolio is finished and these are the last visual echoes of its passing.

The fire of inspiration has been extinguished and the plumes of smoke evaporate into the night sky.  Here the hand of the artist is retreating, fading into the night of clouds.  The portfolio has been presented and the hand now moves away, leaving you to think on what you have observed.  The image block of the moon has lost its glow and become transparent, its contrast and intensity diminished.  It is being absorbed now by the sky. 

This piece is best observed while listening to Cocteau Twins or Dead Can Dance.  I recommend Victorialand or Within the Realm of a Dying Sun, respectively.  I know this is all pretentious and silly, but once in awhile there are those images that move beyond mere representation and step into the mythic, the symbolic.  I am very grateful to have had this image move through me.  Pretentious or not, the mystery within this piece moves me.

Like the preceding pieces from my 2001 portfolio, this was scanned from a physical copy.  This one had many touches up as well and also was sadly lost to The Hunger of the Zip Disks.

{digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

From the Archives: Portfolio 2001 TOC

Here is the Table of Contents to my 2001 portfolio.  This piece was also another victim of The Hunger of the Zip Disks.  This was scanned from a physical copy and touched up a lot due to dust and scratches.

This one had a lot more touch up to do than the front cover or the back.  The xerox copy does not stand the test of time well...especially if it is a full density copy like this - lots of scratches.  Also the scanner I had access to for these scans was a little weird and crappy.  I'm not sure how or why, but there was a huge finger print on the INSIDE of the scanner glass.  Impossible to reach and clean.  Sigh.  I was was pushed for time and had no opportunity to search out another scanner, so I made do and hoped that my Photoshop skills would be mad enough to fix the problem.  I'll let you be the judge of that one.

A majority of the interior of this portfolio was done in black and white to conserve cash.  If the pieces being displayed needed color, those pages would be in color, but otherwise the interiors were black and white xerox copies.  It helps that at the time I was working at Kinko's (Fedex Office to you young'uns)...and yes I paid for all my copies!

Creepy-too-many-fingered-hand just waiting there in the darkness.  Something very arachnid about it despite there being 10 phalanges. It does give me the spider vibe.  No wonder this portfolio never got me a job...LOL...I was showing it to the wrong people.  I bet all the comic book guys were like - what the hell?!?!  AAAAAAAA  Go away creepy artist boy!  I should have been cruising Fangoria or something with this.  Go fig.  My hands again.  Text added in Photoshop.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}