Sister of guilt and father of shame, blame is the negative spotlight eye of God. There is nowhere to hide. Blame makes it impossible to move for fear of suffering and sorrow. Blame is the fire of torture now turned to self immolation. The hand that burns me now is my own. Blame is the self fulfilling prophecy of "it is all my fault." All of it. If it wasn't my fault before, after blame is finished, it will be.
I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal. It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.