Wednesday, December 28, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Face of Darkness

This is from one of my sketchbooks. It was inspired by an image of Randall Flagg from the television miniseries for The Stand. There is a scene where Stu is dreaming of Mother Abigail and Randall Flagg is standing in the corn.  Flagg opens his eyes and they are all red and glowing - VERY Creepy!  I was trying to capture that same feeling that the image from the show gave me - Creepy half light with demon fire within.  Once again I must apologize for the glare.   Heavy sharpie just does not photograph well at all.  :-(



Another update from the Rescans.  This is one that benefits greatly from the rescan.  When photographing the original post, I discovered to my chagrin, that heavy sharpie reflects a flash like polished silver.  No matter what position I placed the image in, I couldn't get a shot without some kind of glare.  Here that issue is completely resolved.  Also, the color on this one is just fantastic.  It looks exactly like the page.  Have I mentioned that I love my scanner?!?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

No Peeking

Katie woke with a start.  She grinned.  Was it time yet?  Was it time?  The room was still dark but for the safe warmth of her night light.  She listened for Bobby to see if he'd beat her downstairs.  The house was silent.  The street light outside cast a lightning thin slit between the curtains and across to the door opposite.  Mom and Dad said not to get out of bed until morning.  NO PEEKING! Katie frowned and fidgeted under the covers.  What if she needed a drink of water?  What if she had to potty?  She wouldn't peek.  She'd promised.

Katie closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but suddenly her insides were all tingly and excited and she knew she had to go potty.  She pushed the covers back and huffed at the ceiling. She wouldn't peek. She wouldn't even look down the stairs.  She would just potty and come right back to bed. Santa knew she was a good girl. She wouldn't peek.

She slipped out from under the comforter and tiptoed to her bedroom door.  It creaked loudly as she opened it and her eyes went wide.  She kept still and waited.  Did mom hear? She held her breath, one foot carefully balanced on tip toe for her next step.  She exhaled and placed her foot flat on the floor.  Maggie, the family Chihuahua, leapt through the open door and onto her foot.  She squealed and fell backward.

Maggie was on Katie's face in a flash, licking her repeatedly and making her giggle.  Katie held the dog back with both hands and whispered fervently, "Maggie no!  We have to be quiet!"  She managed to push the eager dog back enough to get on her feet.  "Ssssh!"  Katie dusted herself off and glared at Maggie.  Maggie looked up intently and wagged her tail.

Katie pushed the door all the way open and stepped out into the hallway.  The tingling was growing worse.  The hall was almost completely black, but she could see the nightlight in the bathroom at the far end.  She faced the wall as she moved.  Halfway to the bathroom the hall became a landing that looked over the living room and if she wasn't careful she'd be looking right at the Christmas tree.  She was pretty sure that would count as peeking.  She took quick steps and was on the toilet in no time.  Maggie whined as Katie closed the door.  The dog whimpered and scratched at the base of the door, trying to get in.  "Maggie, No!"  Katie whispered as loud as she could.  The dog whimpered and then Katie heard the familiar kathump kathump of Maggie descending the stairs.    

As she wiped herself clean she heard a thump on the roof.  Oh No Santa!  She zipped her jammies up fast and rushed to the door.  She opened it a crack and looked down the stairs.  No lights on.  She quickly tiptoed out.  Halfway back to her room, She heard another thump, downstairs this  time, followed by a yelp from Maggie.  Katie stopped without thinking and looked directly through the railing at the Christmas tree.

There was a sound like wrapping paper tearing, then  someone was chewing loudly with their mouth open. Katie could see someone moving at the base of the tree.  She stepped up to the railing.  "Bobby!  Bobby!  Mom said we were supposed to wait until morning!  I'm gonna tell!  I'm gonn-"  The thing that wasn't Bobby turned its head to look directly at her.  In the dim colored light it looked like a Christmas elf, but some thing was wrong with it.  Its clothes were spotted with something dark and its eyes were empty like a closed down store. Beyond the creature, Katie saw a dark spot in the carpet and something that looked like a chicken leg.  The Elf thing stood and turned toward her, its face a tight rictus.  Its mouth was covered in something shiny and dark.

Katie wanted to scream, but all the air was gone. She turned to run back to her room and tripped over a present lying in the hallway.  It collapsed under her weight and spilled its contents onto the hardwood floor, a thick dark liquid that was warm and sticky.  Katie scrambled to stand, her breath coming in short quick gasps.  Her arms and legs fumbled beneath her like a cartoon character slipping in oil.  Tears poured down her face.  The thing from downstairs was at the end of the hallway. It twitched and giggled and slowly stepped towards her, its fingers jerking like it was playing piano.  I didn't mean to peek, she thought.  It was too late, the Chrsitmas elf has seen her.

{Images created in Adobe Illustrator}

The Child

"My flashlight battery finally died as I stepped into the darkened alcove, but there was a dense red light emanating from the machinery nearby that allowed me to see. Ozone burned my nostrils. I covered my mouth with a portion of my shirt and stepped over several large cords to get closer to the cylindrical pod within the alcove.

In the halflight, the strange pod glistened as though it were coated with strawberry jam. I brushed my fingers across it. It was warm and thick like the refuse of chicken boiled too long. When I removed my hand, a thin string of it pulled away like snot. I jerked my hand quickly and it splattered somewhere in the darkness.

My touch seemed to activate something with the pod.  It jerked like a water balloon.  When I moved in, I heard a cry like a cat. It was muffled though, as if it were on the other side of a very thick wall.  I leaned in closer.  Through the jelly, something moved.  I gasped when I saw the thing.  It was staring back at me from within the cocoon..."

Recommended Listening:
Tenebris For The Unborn
Ritual Decay

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Friday, December 23, 2011


Please check out this video for more information about SOPA and its supporters.  There is a lot of information here in this one video.  However, watch and listen please because it is full of reasons to fight SOPA.  This is all just another facet of Pluto in Capricorn and Uranus in Aries: revelation of secrets, societal structures, societal rebellion, new technology, transformation, sudden insights.

Check out One Candle in the Dark or CBS you suck for more information.
Can't Stop the Signal!

Sketch: Father Christmas

This is the original sketch for the Seasons Greetings piece I just posted. I may still do another piece that is closer to this one. I like the lantern and the fact that he is dragging the bag.  If I do this one, I may eliminate the violent bits and just make him ominous.  Truly anyone who can tell if you've been bad or good and see when you're asleep or awake has got to be a little creepy in person.  I'm just sayin'.

Recommended Listening:
Pain is Better
The Ominous Silence

{Created in Adobe Photoshop}

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Seasons Greetings

There is a reason that Santa Claus wears red, or maybe this isn't so much Santa as what the Big Bad Wolf did after Granny and Little Red were gone. LOL. Maybe a little of both, but I did draw initially as Santa.

A little bit of tribute here to Mike Mignola to say the least.  His strong chiaroscuro style and his penchant for antique and ancient artistic elements have always been a strong influence on me.  If you haven't read any Hellboy, you are really missing out!

My initial idea behind this piece involved a much more elaborate set up, but as I began working on the piece, simple seemed the way to go. This is a functional christmas card. It is already the correct size for printing on 8.5x11 paper - justify to the right. I couldn't decide on Color or Black and White, so I provided both. Enjoy!

Recommended Listening:
Night Alone

{Images created in Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop}

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Red

I did a whole series of sketchbook images playing with Sharpies...dark portraits from the other side.  Perhaps he is a distant cousin from Hellboy's Rasputin or some denizen from the outer dark.

This is another one with reproduction issues.  I couldn’t get a good shot of this one without a blur.  :-(  I gotta get a friggin' scanner!  ARGH!

Recommended Listening:



Another of the Rescans.  Obviously, this one is completely changed and revealed by the Rescan.  With the darkness of this piece and the glare from the sharpies, there really was no way to get a decent shot of this one.  Once again the Scanner saves the day!  Thank You beautiful technology...although technically technology caused the problem in the first place.  Ha.  Enjoy.  Interesting note here is that despite the major blur, the color on this one was fairly accurate in the first piece as well.  With the one exception of the glare turning the blacks red...or maybe just picking up the red beneath...hmph.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Up on the Rooftop

"Later that night, he heard the jingling again.  Faintly, just as before, it circled the house like a passing car.  As before, the soft padding crunch of snow and again, the faint jingling.  He stood in the kitchen, a cigarette quivered between his enraged fingers. He smoked two more as the jingling continued for another fifteen minutes. He'd had it with those damned kids.  Ed grabbed the broom and his flashlight and headed out into the snow.

"Alright you little bastards!" Growling, he threw the door open and waived the broom in a wide arc.  The light flashed across the snow.  It was smooth.  No footprints.  He stepped out, broom at the ready.  No footprints anywhere in the yard.  His face full of confusion, his broom lowered.  He heard the jingling again, just beyond the corner of the house.  He raised the broom once more and moved to intercept. They weren't gonna get away.  The snow on his ankles tickled and burned with each step.

At the corner of the house he found no footprints, but could still hear the jingling. Something hit his arm and bounced into the snow.  He leaned over and picked up something wet.  It took him a moment to adjust his hold on the broom and get the flashlight up to his other hand.  It looked like a shredded piece of cloth from a coat, but it was covered in red paint.  No.  No, it wasn't paint.   Ed dropped the cloth and backed away from the house.  His line of vision moved slowly up towards the roof.  His mouth hung agape at the sight of the thing.  It was chewing absently above the bloody patch it made, a ring of bells circling its neck.  Each time it chewed, the bells would softly jingle.

Ed turned and ran.  The flashlight fell free into the soft snow, a small glowing thumbprint disappearing behind him. He hadn't gone that far, the door was just a few more feet away.  He heard a loud snort and his bladder emptied into his pajama pants.  Then there was a hard pinch at his neck, like when his mother used to grab him as a child.  His arms flailed as he was yanked back.   Ed screamed, but then a rough blow at the back of his head made him quiet.  He felt dizzy now.  He lurched and vomited blood as the pinch at his neck grew harder.

"I'll be good Ma.  I won't do it again."  The pinch grew harder still and he knew he was gonna get a spanking.  Then he was flying, flying up and into the christmas sky.  A trail of paint splattered on the snow beneath him. No. No, it wasn't paint."

Recommended Listening:
Torchbearer, Kill the Light
Elegies for the End

{Image created in Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop}

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Gates of the 14 Aethyr

I walk through fog and shade and rain.
A door opens within me, before me,
A space within a space.
I step out of nothing into nothing.
I step through and into myself.
I am the gate through which I pass.

All doors swing open,
a vast passage up down to the bottom top
of every no thing.
The sacred hole in the great hedge,
the womb throat of the Universe,
with a great wind singing through it.

Across this vastness,
across this great wallless infinite,
I convey the burden of space.

Recommended Listening:

{created in Photoshop}

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Sorry to go political again, but I believe our rights as bloggers might be in danger here.  Dealing with adult content as I do in my blog, I fear what SOPA and PROTECT IP will mean to my freedom of expression.  If you work with any kind of previously copyrighted material, they may be able to block your site. Please watch the video below and check the link in my sidebar.  Please get involved before they take away our rights.

Also check Public Knowledge or Fight for the Future for more information.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Scream

Looking back, I think this may be an indirect portrait of someone unpleasant I was working with at the time.  Anger and Sharpies - cheaper than therapy I guess.

Recommended Listening:
The Prodigy
Invaders Must Die



Wow.  Initially I didn't there was much change between these two, but looking at them side by side I can a severe blur and glare within the original.  The scan turned all the colors up a notch or two as well.  I cannot say it enough - Hooray for scanner! scanner needs a name...I'll get on that.  :-)

Friday, December 09, 2011

Review: H.O.P.E. Tales of the Nuclear Family

This isn't necessarily darkness or horror related, but for those of you interested in comics, I've done a review of H.O.P.E. Tales of the Nuclear Family on my comics art blog, Wind of the Gods. Please check it out here and support these aspiring creators.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

From the Archives: Skull Tattoo

A Tattoo design that never got used.  Grey added for a little contrast in Photoshop.  Inspired by H.R. Giger, but only mildly.  :-)

{Sharpie, Tone added in Photoshop}

Monday, December 05, 2011


Sorry for the delay on this one. We had a power outtage in my neighborhood and I lost several hours of drawing time. Probably Uranus getting ready to go Direct on the 10th.  We also have an Eclipse / Full Moon on the 10th, so expect a bit of Chaos. All this during a Mercury retrograde (Nov. 24th - Dec. 14th). I guess Krampus is in full effect this year!

Regardless, Happy Krampusnacht! I hope you've all been good this year!  I hope that your 2012 is much better!

{Created in the Adobe Creative Suite}

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Krampus is on his way!

I'm not sure why I feel the need to jump on the Krampus bandwagon this year.  I found out about him two years ago and haven't really had the opportunity to work on any pieces involving him until now.  This year has been such a roller coaster through crap I figure it might be nice to believe a little in some cosmic force of justice.

Of course the assumption there is that Krampus won't be coming for me.  If he were coming for me, that might not be all bad though.  Cover your ears kids!  A hairy horny devil with a ridiculously long tongue kidnaps me and drags me away to do with me as he pleases.  All because I've been bad.  Hmmm...I say let the punishment fit the crime, eh!

I guess in the end, I just like the idea of Krampus.  He's a little taste of punishment to help us appreciate the good in life.  I wonder perhaps if he is some seed idea left over from Saturnalia?  Perhaps he is the last Lord of Misrule from the lost tradition of the Feast of Fools.  Perhaps not completely lost, Halloween / Samhain has taken on many of the qualities of Saturnalia and the Feast of Fools. Considering how much our calendars have changed since those times, Halloween may be closer to the correct timeframe.

I am intrigued that these kinds of festivals seems to emerge from the human psyche regardless of repression or taboo or dogma or fiat.  Close one door and the urge will find its way out through a window.  This is the cord that Krampus strikes with me. Aha! there's the reason: The repressed urge given its day in the sun.

I think we need more of least here in the United States we certainly do.  Too many natural urges are repressed and criminalized.  We need to find healthy outlets instead of shoving it all in a box...or a prison.  I feel Krampus is part of that.  A little comedic S & M for the whole family!  Be good kids for goodness sake!  Only one more day until Krampusnacht!

{Image created in Adobe Illustrator}

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Only two more days...

Another fun filled Krampus portrait to celebrate the imminent arrival of that precious Christmas Devil!  Be good for goodness sake kids, Krampus is coming!

{Images created in Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop}

UPDATE 091014:  This piece is now available on a tshirt design or other cool paraphernalia at my Neatoshop!  Drop by and check it out!

Friday, December 02, 2011

Krampus is Coming!

Here is a Krampus Card to celebrate the season!  If you would like to steal and print this, feel free.  All you naughty children better be good for goodness sake!  Krampus is Coming!  Only three more days!

{Image created using the Adobe Creative Suite}

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Not Exactly Krampus...

Not exactly Krampus, but I think devilish enough to fit the season.  Be good for goodness sake, Krampus is coming!

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

UPDATE 010413:

I discovered recently that this piece had some visual issues that I hadn't noticed before.  I've gone through several computer upgrades since this was originally created so I'm chalking it up to the better system I'm using.  Regardless, I noticed the hard black edge within the piece that I had not seen before.  Here is an updated version of how I intended the piece to look.  It's a subtle trade, but I had not intended that hard line in the original.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: In the Darkness

This is me pushing Sharpies again.  Sadly in the middle of this piece my Teal Sharpie ran out. I had to mix it with yellow and light green.

This one had to be tweaked a bit to get it to show correctly.  I don’t have access to a scanner right now, but I do have a digital camera.  I discovered that the flash reflects quite nicely off of heavy sharpie works.  UGH.  This piece and several others had to be worked over in Photoshop to get them even close to the originals.  When I have access to a scanner again, I will properly re-scan these.


UPDATE:  Fresh scan from my new scanner as of 01.28.12.  No glare in the fresh one and no needful Photoshop retouch.  The actual color of the physical piece is somewhere between these two.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Dancing Hand

I’ve always been disturbed by hands with more than five fingers or hands in a configuration other than human. I think at the base it may be the same kind of reaction I have to bugs that I consider to have “too many legs”. It makes my skin crawl for some reason.

I used to be afraid of Spiders, but we made a truce. I don’t kill them and they stay off me. I let them have the unused corners of rooms so they can eat annoying things like flies and gnats and buzzy little annoying bugs. We get along. However Millipedes, Silverfish, and Centipedes...not so much. Yuck.

Sorry for the crappy reproduction here. This is another from the sketchbooks.  Graphite also reflects the flash of a camera quite dramatically.


UPDATE:  Fresh scan from my new scanner as of 01.29.12.  No blur here and I am amazed at the amount of line detail that the scanner picked up.  Yay Scanner!

Monday, November 21, 2011

5x5 Fiction

In the chaos of my move, I failed to mention that my submission to 5x5 fiction was accepted and included in the current issue.  My apologies to the guys at 5x5 Fiction.  I meant no disrespect.  I've been in the throes of a prolonged clumsy move and lost my grip on many things in the process.
Everyone please go check and out the coolness that is 5x5 Fiction.  It rocks.  Also, be sure to check out issues One and Two.  They are the two excellent reasons I submitted to begin with.  :-)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Suicide Set Part V: If Flesh Could Crawl

I’m including this piece in the suicide set even though technically it was not in the same format as the other pieces or even part of the set.  It was done just before the others...maybe two or three weeks.  I feel the need to include it because this type of thing doesn’t occur in a vacuum.  It was directly inspired by the song As Far From God from the first Garbage album.

I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal.  It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.


UPDATE 010413:

This piece was Exhumed and reinvestigated with color in November 2013.  Check out the Exhumed image here.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Suicide Set Part IV: Hopelessness

After the violent parade of negative emotions had passed, after they had drained me of any motivation, thought, or energy, only hopelessness was left.  I was empty and lost.  There was no way out and no way onward.  There was no way.  It was in this darkness I attempted to take my own life.

I realize many things about my actions at that time now.  Things that I can only understand in hindsight.  At the time I was under the sway of powerful negative emotional patterns and I consider myself very lucky to have come through the experience alive.  My own feelings brought me to the edge of death.

The person I am today is nothing like the person who attempted to take his life. I can see now that I needed to come to this edge and look out at the ultimate destruction I was heading toward.  I needed to hold my life in my hands and understand that the choice of its continuance or destruction was mine and mine alone.  I needed this moment to know that I had some form of control, that my life was indeed my own.  This instant, this moment of choice, has informed all the decisions I have made in my life since that day.

I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal.  It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.


Friday, November 18, 2011

Suicide Set Part III: Blame

Sister of guilt and father of shame, blame is the negative spotlight eye of God.  There is nowhere to hide.  Blame makes it impossible to move for fear of suffering and sorrow. Blame is the fire of torture now turned to self immolation.  The hand that burns me now is my own.  Blame is the self fulfilling prophecy of "it is all my fault." All of it. If it wasn't my fault before, after blame is finished, it will be.

I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal.  It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Occupy Now.

The old world is dying and the new world is being born.  Do not listen to the evening news - they are bought and paid for.  This is only the beginning - Occupy and be counted.  If you think the last two links aren't related, just follow the idea of SOPA and PROTECT IP to their logical conclusions and you will see.  Our government has been bought and paid for.

Suicide Set Part II: Worry

I realized as I began this post that this week is the thirteenth anniversary of my suicide attempt.  A strange and macabre anniversary to be sure, but perhaps one of the most significant moments in my life history.  The person I am today is vastly different from the person who tried to take his life.  I still consider things deeply and intensely, but I do not worry as I once did.

Worry is about the weight of my thoughts at that time. Everything felt too heavy to move.  I felt buried or lost in a labyrinth of caves. Every feeling was a complicated net of issues that seemed impossible to unravel. I couldn't find a way out. Every new facet I discovered seemed only to lead me into greater complication and darkness. All my hope was overwhelmed by the burden of my feelings.

I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal.  It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Suicide Set Part I: Panic

In Mid-November of 1998 I attempted suicide by swallowing a bottle of muscle relaxers.  My life at the time felt completely out of my control and I felt myself sliding into darkness, but I felt powerless to stop it. I created the drawings in the suicide set just before my attempt.  I don’t remember drawing these pieces.  Looking at them now I realize that they are based on the four elements, but at the time I don’t recall intentionally directing them that way.  I was drawing more out of emotional desperation than any kind of intent.

Panic addresses my inability to communicate.  No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that my ability to verbalize my needs was stifled and choked.  The air was running out and I think I knew on some deep level that I was running out of time.  That the opportunity to fight back was quickly evaporating.  I was sliding into the final darkness and felt I had no way to stop the descent.  I felt completely powerless.

I really only understand any of this after analyzing in the years following.  During the event I felt removed from myself.  The month preceding my attempt, I felt like I was on auto pilot.  A ghost robot of myself set for self destruct.

I would like to note on the side of safety and communication that today, despite the difficulty of my current set of life circumstances, that I do not in any way feel suicidal.  It is simply that the time has come to share these pieces.


Some catching up to do...

Sorry for disappearing for a few weeks there.  I was finishing up my move and cleaning my old abode...aaaannnnd to top things off, because I didn't have nearly enough to do, I caught the flu this week.  OH JOY!   However, today my move is complete, my old abode is clean and fresh, and my flu is on the mend (although my ribs are very sore from coughing - ouchie).  Here's a little devil I concocted in penance.  Hope you like.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Winged Cat Demon

Another from the sketchbooks.  Quick sketch of a cat demon thingie.  I figured they would still chase twitchy little rodents even if they had bat wings.  As you can see, I never decided on the tail.  Also, I think this might be a dark aspect of my personality when I get too dehydrated.



Another update from the Rescans.  On this one, the scan was so much better than the photo I took, I didn't have to touch up the image at all.  On the first image, I had to adjust the brightness, contrast, and sharpness. Here you can see the molten deliciousness of the Sharpie where I filled in the blacks.  It looks almost exactly like the original image.  ...mmmmm Sharpie.  :-)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

From the Sketchbook Archives: Night Thing

Silently, across the sea of night,
a sound like wind in the leaves.
I hold my breath and stand stock still
until it passes.
The chill of its presence
makes my breath a faint cloud.
I rush to the safety and warmth of interior light
and check all the bolts on my locks.
Outside, the tree limbs creak
at the touch of the wind.
"Perhaps," I think,
and light a candle for protection.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Throne of the Mind

It gazes within and it gazes without,
It opens and swallows itself.
At the bottom of the ocean, at the bottom of the sea,
The nested flesh gestates.

Intelligence serves it,
Ignorance serves it,
War serves it,
Peace serves it,
Our every action
is the thumping tread of its gargantuan footsteps.
We are it mouths.
We are its eyes.
We are its thoughts.

Drum beats, heart beats,
blood pumps the light beneath skin and hair and sweat.
The dream of a thousand million years.
Knowledge is giving birth to itself.

Recommended Listening:
Cryogenic Dreams

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Halloween is coming!

What with there being just a few days left until Halloween, I figure I'd better get on the ball with some posts concerning ye old creepy goodness holiday!!!  This way I can get my two cents in to participate in Vincent's OPG!!!  Drop on over and check his stuff out!

First off, though I missed my chance to be a part of it due the roller coaster I call my life, this years issue of HALLOWSCREAM will be released on Halloween for your screaming pleasure.  Please check out the scary goodness!  I'm hoping I will be able to participate next year.  Time will tell.  Be sure to check it out after Halloween!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Totem

There is a drumming deep within me.
Firelight crackling and forest spirits twittering,
it calls out from the time before time.
It breathes a rhythm, a heartbeat,
an urging towards release,
and it will be born.
and it will be born.
and it will be born.
Like lightning,
it strikes backwards towards its desire.

recommended listening:
Call of the Serpent
Draconian Poetry

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Reading from the Book of Night

In the twilight of the underworld,
The sun within waxes and wanes.
Days stacked like logs in the wood pile
kindle and burn on the mount of knowing.
Harlequin wall totem reads from the great book. 

The mother day sprays light to inoculate the reading
and fertilize the thoughts for growth.
Father predator spits darkness into her.
A deception that by her nature she converts into light.
His light within reads the necessity and
sees the voice and light needed for the reading.
Between them all, a darkness gestates
the darkness of absence, of emptiness,
of the void.
A darkness through which all things pass
to reach the light of the coming day.

In the desert of ignorance,
the scarab rolls its children into a sphere of darkness
tucking them safely into that fecund enclosure
knowing that at their birth,
they will eat their way to the light.

Recommended LIstening:

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Choosing Adult

As I move further into the depths of my personal shadow, it has become apparent that I require greater freedom of expression to explore the themes and subject matter that will allow me to convey my thoughts and feelings.  For this reason I have now designated my blog as an adult blog.

When I began pushing my blogs further, I knew that at some point I might reach this edge.  My goal isn't  to intentionally pursue adult themes for all my pieces. However, if I require the elements of adult themes, I want the freedom to be there.  I've skated that edge with many of my pieces, but now I have chosen to cross over to the other side.

I will be dealing with themes of violence, sex, aggression, hate, personal darkness, and all the other bits we cut away from ourselves and call "not me".  My goal is exploration and integration and sometimes on such journeys, there are images, thoughts, and feelings that challenge and confound.

If I offend anyone to the point that they no longer read my blog, I am sorry for the loss of communication, but not the offense.  Sometimes we need to be shaken to embrace new thoughts and ideas and growth.  I figure those who are interested or intrigued will come and sit by the fire with me and tell me a good scary story that I haven't heard before. Together in that shared firelight we can unburden our darknesses and make them a bit more bearable.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Fear

And finally after 3 months of back breaking Rage, from stage left comes the source of all my drama.  Raw skinned and trembling, paralyzed and wide-eyed, My fear takes focus.

I find that I can't be angry now.  There is no resentment and my rage fades like a retreating storm.  I feel sadness for this impoverished part of myself, this portion of me with skin so thin that even the movement of air is like knives.

When I was finished with this piece I found no righteous vindication but instead a strange compassion.  I had thought the resolution of the quest to find the source of my Anger would find a villain to be defeated, but instead I find a victim.  Already defeated, and in that defeat a circling whirlwind of misplaced energy.  A leprous pariah to be given succor, relief, and healing.

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Thursday, October 06, 2011

It Lives in Flames

This makes me think of the giant pig at the end of Clive Barker's Pig Blood Blues.  Or perhaps the pig version of the Red Bull from The Last Unicorn.  There is a bit more than pig in there though - maybe some horse.  Perhaps we're just seeing pig from multiple points in time.  Schrodinger's Pig?  Regardless, I don't want to be trapped in any kind of enclosed space with it.  eep.  I'm afraid there would be some hard feelings for all that bacon I ate.

I apologize for all the comedy with such a fierce image, it's just that the clouds have parted here and I'm seeing the first sunlight I have in days and it is making me a little giddy.  :-P  I usually hate super sunny days, but we have had nothing but cloud cover for over a week.  :-(  So - Hooray Sunlight!

{Digital images manipulated in Photoshop}

Thursday, September 29, 2011

General Marrow, Lord of Bones

Within the dream of the abattoir,
beneath hair and toenail and skin,
he digs beneath our fat and past the organs.
His business is with the bone core.

He is the lightning knight of epiphany,
the unyielding harbinger of revelation,
the barrier breaker of the adamant secret,
and the herald of truth too long denied.

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